Relationship Rut

Alice Bailey from the Dimensions:
Two minds relate, two minds desire sex, two minds start a Relationship; charging and recharging the relationship, cycling, recharging, charging up again and starting again, the beings become possessed by the relationship, it is exists on energy. Eventually the energy runs out. It becomes hard work to charge up and have sex. Eventually (usually) the relationship ends, the beings are off and on to another, to recharge and be introduced to new energy and all it does is charge and support the mind.

What if my first crush was on MYSELF? What a mountain of SHIT I could have been spared!

I forgive myself that I abandoned myself in the search for love
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to seek approval and attention outside myself
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to feel as if something were missing from me that caused me to go outside myself to validate myself
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed that I did not stop the cycle of relationships that have caused me to abandon myself
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to prefer checking out of my own life
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think someone else has a better life
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe in the "energy" of a relationship
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe in "energy"
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to become trapped in the cultural norm of being in a relationship
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to want to be in a relationship
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to stay in relationships even though I was being dishonest with myself
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to be dishonest with myself about relationships
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself use relationships as a way to avoid being honest with myself
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to be relationships because it is easier than being alone
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fear being alone
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to use relationships as a way to define myself
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to use relationships as a way to feel good about myself
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to use relationships to feel normal
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself believe in the concept of normal